Powerless Rankings

Two New York Athletes Lead Powerless Rankings

This week’s powerless rankings are led by two New York athletes; one who is going away, and one who simply won’t. 

Happy Sunday everyone. It’s been a busy week in the world of sports, with the NBA All-Star Game, Spring Training underway, and one trade deadline passed (NBA) with another one coming (NHL). Of course, there were also news stories questioning (again) the integrity of the NFL, people being punked on Twitter, and some bad sign choices at high school basketball games. That’s where I come in. Let’s see who had the worst week in sports, in this week’s Powerless Rankings:

5. Fan Who Messed with Colin Kaepernick on Twitter

Note to self: do not antagonize Colin Kaepernick on Twitter. Earlier this week, Kaepernick just wanted to let his fans know what was going on this offseason, and sent this harmless tweet out:

One follower of his decided to get cute, hitting Kaepernick with this response:

Oooohh burn! Colin Kaepernick is inaccurate! Well, Kaep decided to fire back with this:

Uhh, hey bro:


Damn, dude. “Get better at life” is just cold. Telling someone their own family doesn’t care about them is straight-up mean. Do not piss off Colin Kaepernick. Noted.

4. Texas High School Basketball

There are a lot of things you shouldn’t do/say at a high basketball game. Holding up signs that read “White Power” is DEFINITELY one of those things:

White Power

I don’t care if your team wears white, I don’t care if someone’s last name is White, you do not put the word “power” after it. Ever. Like the Hitler mustache, “White Power” was ruined for people a long time ago, and must be retired. Just the way it works; sorry guys.

H/T Barstoolsports.com for the photo

3. Carmelo Anthony

Honestly, I’m a bit surprised he only made it to number three. Carmelo is the worst. His team is 10-44, he just signed a mega-extension to stay there, and has now decided to just take the rest of the season off. Anthony announced he’d be shutting it down the rest of the season just before the All-Star Game – which he still played in. Talk about disrespecting your fans; you know, the fans who were at this game at your home arena. Melo decided he wasn’t healthy enough to play the rest of the season, but was fine to play in this game. Karma improved it’s record to ∞-0, as Anthony finished the ASG with 14 points on 6-20 shooting, including 2-13 on threes. Most astonishingly, Melo played 30 minutes in a game in which his team scored 158 points and recorded ZERO assists. None. God, Carmelo is the worst.

Carmelo Anthony AP

Photo: AP

2. Alex Rodriguez

By now, you’ve seen the letter, but if you haven’t somehow, here’s a little snippet for you:

Arod Letter

Not much more needs to be said. Alex Rodriguez is an idiot, and went with “Apologies 101” by hand-writing it to look sincere while – much more importantly – not making himself available for any follow-up. Everything he does at this point is so contrived, so clearly decided by a team of publicists and agents, that it doesn’t even phase me anymore. Oh, and some hand-writing analyst (take that with a shaker of salt) said he “writes like a girl,” so there’s that. Alex Rodriguez literally hasn’t gotten good news in like five years, and I love it.

1. Everybody and everything involved in Deflategate

That’s right, the Mike Myers of stories – it just won’t die. If you haven’t been following the story, first of all, bless you. Second, it’s become an all-out sh*tshow. There’s the he-said, she-said of who first alerted the league, and when, and why, and what they did with this information. Was it a sting? Was it a mistake? And on, and on, and on…

NFL: JAN 30 Super Bowl XLIX - Commissioner Roger Goodell Press Conference

Then there’s a league official, who either did or did not try to put a kicking ball into play, and who definitely was stealing footballs and selling them; he’s been fired. ESPN ran a story by Rachel Nichols, then immediately put out another story saying that one was wrong. It’s a whole mess. One thing, and one thing only, is for sure. The NFL is losing. ESPN is losing. The Patriots? They look awesome. No one can prove anything, every attempt at an investigation has be screwed up, and we have only a Lombardi Trophy to worry about. Way to go, Goodell!

That’s it for this week. Check back (late) next Sunday, when I come back from vacation and immediately start making fun of more people.

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