Tom Brady Wants None of Your Sweet Treats

(Doug Murray/Icon Sportswire)

If you’re a fan of that Share a Coke marketing campaign and you can’t find your name on the iconic brand, you can always request to customize a bottle, but don’t ask for “Tom Terrific” anytime soon.

Patriots superstar quarterback Tom Brady doesn’t want to share a Coke with you, and while you’re at it, keep Tony the Tiger away from the All-Pro because he’s not buying Frosted Flakes as great, as the cartoon cat says.

In an almost bizarre rant on Boston’s WEEI Radio earlier this week, the four-time Super Bowl champion took aim at the crappy treats that are as American as baseball, apple pie and well, Tom Brady.

“I disagree with a lot of things that people tell you to do,” Brady spouted. “You’ll probably go out and drink Coca-Cola and think, ‘Oh yeah, that’s no problem.’ Why? Because they pay lots of money for advertisements to think that you should drink Coca-Cola for a living? No, I totally disagree with that. And when people do that, I think that’s quackery. And the fact that they can sell that to kids? I mean, that’s poison for kids. But they keep doing it.”

Quackery and poison are probably a bit much, although any dentist will tell you to try to steer your kids away from any soft drink and perhaps that’s the message Brady should have tried to send rather than taking aim at a company he used to take money from.

“All of our beverages are safe and can be enjoyed as part of a balanced lifestyle,” Coke said in a statement after Brady’s comments. “We offer more than 200 low- and no-calorie beverages in the U.S. and Canada and a wide variety of smaller portion sizes of our regular drinks. As a responsible beverage company and marketer, we prominently provide calorie and sugar information for our beverages so people can choose what makes sense for them and their families.”

One of those lower-calorie beverages was once endorsed by the father of three, who is evidently oh so worried about parenting your kids as well. Brady used to be a spokesman for Smartwater which is made by Glaceau which happens to be a subsidiary of, you guessed it, Coca-Cola.

It’s always tough to take the moral high ground in corporate America without doing your due diligence.

“I think we’ve been lied to by a lot of food companies over the years, by a lot of beverage companies over the years,” Brady added. “But we still (believe) it. That’s just America, and that’s what we’ve been conditioned … We believe that Frosted Flakes is a food … of course they taste very good. And of course all those companies make lots of money selling those things. They have lots of money to advertise … That’s the education that we get. That’s what we get brainwashed to believe, that all these things are just normal food groups, and this is what you should eat.”

At least Kellogg’s got a “tastes good,” if not quite a tastes grrrrreat, but also quickly defended its product.

“Cereal is a delicious and nutritious breakfast,” the company claimed. “Numerous studies show that a cereal breakfast is associated with lower body mass index in both children and adults.”

It’s not like Brady is a complete lunatic and veered away from his team’s upcoming AFC Championship Game rematch against Indianapolis, he was taken down this path by a question regarding his nutritionist and business partner Alex Guerrero, who was recently described by Boston Magazine as a “glorified snake-oil salesman” for certain claims about the nutritional products he sells which are not verified by the FDA.

That said, hopping on a soap box is a bad look for a guy who was recently labeled by so many as the poster-child for cheating and is currently defending another man he has business dealings with and is at best making claims that haven’t been verified.

Even “South Park” recently lampooned Brady by having its main character Eric Cartman respond to four days of detention by saying “F#$@ that, I’m going to Tom Brady this thing.”

Brady and Gisele Bundchen have every right to keep Coke and Frosted Flakes away from their kids just as other parents can point to the accusations against Brady or the hits he’s taken over the years as reasons to steer their offspring away from football.

And the superstar also has the right hitch his wagon to Guerrero even though the unregulated, unscrupulous world of nutritional products is the wild, wild west of advertising.

Brady, though, should understand activism is a double-edged sword.

Pushing your beliefs is perfectly acceptable in a free society. Others pointing out your hypocrisy is just as copacetic.

— John McMullen is the national football columnist for FanRagSports.com. You can reach him at jmcmullen@phanaticmag.com or on Twitter @jfmcmullen — Also catch John this season on ESPN Southwest Florida every Monday at 3 PM ET; on ESPN Lexington every Thursday at 6:05 ET, and live every Tuesday from 2 to 6 PM ET at the Golden Nugget Casino in Atlantic City for the NFL Wraparound on ESPN South Jersey.

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