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Best who-the-heck-is-this-guy NFL preseason performances Part 2

AP Photo/Gary Landers

The all-world trio of Tommylee Lewis, Jason Woodrum and Jacob Hollister cracked our inaugural Who-The-Heck-Is-This-Guy NFL preseason performances list midway through the first week of exhibition play.

The criterion isn’t rocket science — NFL players whose Wikipedia pages are smeared with practice squad assignments but blaze the stat sheet against fourth-team defenses; that receiver from the Big Sky who broke every program record but HEAVEN FORBID, he did not project well to the next level and is now fighting for a spot on the 90-man, but catches 21 passes in his presason debut. You get it.

The award-winners for Part 2:

  • Raheem Mostert – RB – San Francisco 49ers

That’s ‘the pride of Purdue’ Raheem Mostert to you. The poor guy led the NFL in preseason scrimmage yards as a rookie in 2015, and added a blistering 32.4 yards per kick return. Still, it wasn’t good enough to slip onto the Philadelphia Eagles’ 53-man roster.

Mostert’s been passed around more than germs in a Porta Potty since the first cut. The 49ers are his seventh(!) team.

So it’s no wonder that the star-studded dynamo and former 2012 Jet Award nominee (had to fact-check that this is a real award) rushed for 89 yards on 15 carries in the Niners’ preseason opener against the punch-you-in-the-grill Kansas City Chiefs defense.

Someone, somewhere, is going to look at the 49ers rushing for 188 yards on the Chiefs to open the optimism door, only for it to shut on their fingers with every negative-3-yard rush during the regular season.

  • Jeff Driskel – QB – Cincinnati Bengals 

You probably remember Driskel from his playing days from Florida, but he didn’t make enough noise to be remembered, similar to every Gators quarterback since the Prohibition Era.

Heading into the preseason, Driskel’s biggest accomplishment was giving Christian Ponder a run for his money as the 49ers’ third-string job (pulls strings on celebration party poppers).

“Shimmy” Driskel was out on Friday, making defenders look flat-out dumb.

He completed eight of nine for 97 yards and a touchdown, and rushed for 34 yards and another score. And if Andy Dalton loses another wild-card game, Driskel could be the heir apparent.

  • Kenny Golladay – WR – Detroit Lions

Whenever you can draft a projected undrafted free agent in the third round, you have to do it.

A wave of mid-major and FCS wide receivers — like every year — out of the ’17 draft class were lauded: Corey Davis, Taywan Taylor, Cooper Kupp, Chad Williams, Carlos Henderson, etc.

So, when the Lions spent their third-round pick on Northern Illinois receiver Kenny Golladay — a guy they probably could’ve texted after the draft to see if he wanted to run some 40s or catch passes from Brad Kaaya — the motive was flat-out weird.

Fans and pundits revved up the hype train in training camp with praise aplenty, and the locomotive continues to coast on track, with Golladay hauling in two touchdowns in his preseason debut.

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