MLB is loosening up for Player’s Weekend in August, allowing the athletes to wear jerseys with custom-made nicknames draped across the back to express individuality.
We tried our hand at some of the more clever ones that could be used around the league.
- Chris Carter – “KarteHR”
The ball is either clanking off the third deck in left or hitting the catcher’s mitt dead in the web whenever Chris Carter steps to the plate. With 99 power comes 10 plate vision, so cheers to one of the most feast-or-famine players in the game.
- Trea Turner – “PTBNLol”
Trea Turner will forever be celebrated as the player to be named later in the three-team trade involving the Padres, Nationals and Rays back in 2014. Wil Myers headlined that deal, but Turner is a potential fixture in Washington who has yet to even get his feet under him. Take that, San Diego.
- Pablo Sandoval – “$andoval”
Hitting .400 in two World Series years gets you paid. Pablo Sandoval found that out when he signed a five-year, $90 million contract with the Boston Red Sox fresh off his second World Series in three seasons. All he’s done in Beantown (apparently nobody refers to Boston as Beantown, but hey) is post a -2.0 WAR through the first two-and-a-half seasons in what appears to be one of the grossest contracts in MLB.
- Kevin Kiermaier – “Kerrormaier”
Aren’t players supposed to loosen up after lucrative deals? Kevin Kiermaier’s gold glove (and Gold Gloves!) helped earn the center fielder a six-year, $53.5 million deal ahead of the 2017 season. The response? Six errors over his previous 40 games, one blunder shy of the number he posted over the previous two full seasons. Sorry, Kevin, that one was kind of easy.
- Yasiel Puig – “Deuces”
"We are No. 1!" Puig says after his HR. pic.twitter.com/yosV0far2F
— Doug Padilla (@DougPadilla) June 13, 2017
- Jose Bautista – “@JoeyBats19”
Saying “Jose Bautista follows me on Twitter” is like bragging how fast you ran your mile in sixth grade. How does Toronto’s part-time bat-flipper, full-time follow-back even scroll through the TL with 955K follows? Sounds dreadful.
- Hunter Strickland – “Peter La Fleur”
That’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see how it plays out for ’em.
- Edwin Jackson – “Goldilocks”
The guy has played for 12 teams over 14 years and change, and five since the start of 2015. Jackson is not even the good Goldilocks, either; at least she got to choose which bed to sleep in. Teams have tossed the veteran right-hander around the league like a rag doll.
- Mike Trout – “911”
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“Hi, this is Mike Trout, can I have some help, please?”
- Rougned Odor – “Italian Stallion”
He punched a guy once.
- Jered Weaver – “Ratatouille”
All the meatballs are served on a golden dish. There are more people at Petco Park hitting 90 on the arcade radar guns than Weaver, who hasn’t topped that number this season on his “fastball.”
Which makes you think…
Jered Weaver: "Hitters can't have a high exit velo if I throw them 81 mph fastballs" pic.twitter.com/v4IXBW3X25
— Alex Kolodziej (@AKolodziejFRS) June 18, 2017
- JaCoby Jones – “Guys, I’m not a wide receiver”
“Wait, the NFL Jacoby Jones or the MLB Ja –,” they all began.