Powerless Rankings

Cuse’s Sanctions Lead Powerless Rankings

Two suspensions, a nasty injury, and a rough dunk-contest effort lead the way in this week’s Powerless Rankings. 

After a week off (sorry readers, was on vacation) we’re back with another edition of the Powerless Rankings. This week, we’ve got boneheaded plays, nasty injuries, and more than one suspension. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your Sunday afternoon with the Powerless Rankings:

5. LaRon Landry

Can you guys believe this guy was suspended for steroids?

Laron Landry

The NFL announced this week that Colts safety LaRon Landry would be facing a ten-game suspension to begin the 2015 season following a positive test for PEDs. Obviously, this means that Colts writer Bob Kravitz – who famously said that Bill Belichick should be fired for deflategate – thinks the Colts should basically clean house, right? I mean, if under-inflated footballs is a fireable offense, I can only imagine what allowing your players to do steroids gets you. Anyway, no real surprise here with Landry. I mean seriously, look at the guy. I’m surprised it took this long.

4. This Philippines Basketball Player

So close. This was from a dunk contest in the Philippines Basketball Association (I assume that’s what PBA stands for here) and boy was it something. I respect anyone who is willing to try to dunk a basketball while blindfolded, but holy crap. My man ended up about four feet short and a foot too low on that one. If it was the NBA, they’d probably just let him keep trying until he made it, then give him straight 10s once he did.

3. This High School Hockey Player

DJ LaMartina is a high school hockey player whose team, Francis Howell North, recently won the Wickenheiser Cup, a St. Louis high school tournament. Of course, when you win a big game, you celebrate with your teammates. You can see LaMartina late to the pile; he’s #88 coming sliding in here:

If you notice, right at the end, LaMartina puts his hand to his face. In a moment, I am going to include a picture of why LaMartina was clutching his face. If you are squeamish, I recommend quickly scrolling past this picture. I warned you.







Hockey Injury 2

Ahhh!!!!!! Why?!?! Why did I make you look at that picture? That, my friends, is what a sharp hockey skate to the face will do to you. I’m honestly surprised this type of thing doesn’t happen more often in hockey, but when it does, it is striking. Yeesh. Moving on.

2. DeAndre Jordan

If you missed this play from a recent Clippers game, take a look below. The scene: The Clippers and Trailblazers are tied with just under three seconds to go. The Clippers only have 1.7 seconds on the shot clock, meaning they need an immediate shot. Remember that. There is less time on the shot clock than the play clock. The following ensues:


DeAndre…why?? Chris Paul takes a runner which somehow doesn’t fall, as the shot clock expires. Luckily, DeAndre Jordan is right there for the put back…he just doesn’t put it back. Likely assuming the shot-clock horn was actually the play-clock horn, Jordan collected the rebound and just held the ball instead of putting it back in for the win (of course the Clips lost in overtime). While it’s a understandable mistake, and likely wouldn’t have mattered anyway since the game clock froze at 0.7 seconds, making the whole series a potential wash, there’s nothing better than the reactions as it happened.

First, there’s Chris Paul screaming at Jordan to take the shot.

Then, in the first video, there’s also the Clippers play-by-play guy screaming “DJ, shoot the ball.” When everyone in the building, from teammates to the TV guy, is telling you to shoot, you know you messed up. Never change, DJ.

1. Syracuse Basketball

Well, after an investigation that went on seemingly forever, the other shoe has dropped on Syracuse basketball. All in all, the sanctions weren’t that bad:

  • Five years probation from 2015-2020
  • Vacation of all wins from 2004-07 and 2010-12 (plus the vacation of some football wins)
  • Fine of $500 per game played during the above date ranges
  • Reduction of scholarships
  • Suspension of coach Jim Boeheim for nine conference games

NCAA BASKETBALL: FEB 07 Syracuse at Pitt

There were some other restrictions as well, but that’s the meat of the thing. The team had also previously banned itself from the postseason this year, a noble move by the not-very-good Orange. Like I said, all in all it isn’t so bad considering how long these violations – including not drug testing, academic dishonesty, and benefits – went on. Still, it isn’t a good look for the school or head coach Jim Boeheim (who issued a statement but has not addressed the media yet). When the NCAA rules that you broke just about every law in the book for nearly a decade, you earn the top spot in these rankings.

That’s it for this week. Be sure to check back next Sunday to see who is having the worst week in sports.

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